Fun with Windows

For the past week, I've been dealing with computer stuff.

To keep a long and somewhat complicated story short, we bought a new wireless mouse for the Mrs.' laptop. The software that came with the mouse apparently included a bonus -- a virus! 

Evenings have been spent in Task Manager, stopping rogue processes; running Norton Antivirus (which freezes when it hits the "bad" files); deleting junk files (except of course the "bad" files -- they won't let me erase them. Cute.

I've come to the conclusion that the only way to overcome this sucker is gonna be to reformat the drive and start over from scratch. What a PITA. 

I can think of lots and lots of ways to spend an evening, and this ain't one of 'em.

That brought to mind a collection of "Computer Haikus" that someone sent me years ago. Some of them are actually pretty funny. I suggest you print them out -- or just a few of your favorites -- and post them near your computer. Then, when the little darling starts to give you a hard time, you can pause and reflect.

Order will return. Even if it takes a sledgehammer.

And now, without further ado, Computer Haikus:

Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

------------------------

A file that big?

It might be very useful.

But now it is gone.

------------------------

The Web site you seek

Can not be located but

Countless more exist.

------------------------

Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

------------------------

ABORTED effort:

Close all that you have worked on.

You ask way too much.

------------------------

Yesterday it worked.

Today it is not working.

Windows is like that.

------------------------

First snow, then silence.

This thousand dollar screen dies

So beautifully.

------------------------

With searching comes loss

And the presence of absence:

"My Novel" not found.

------------------------

The Tao that is seen

Is not the true Tao, until

You bring fresh toner.

------------------------

Stay the patient course.

Of little worth is your ire.

The network is down.

------------------------

A crash reduces

Your expensive computer

To a simple stone.

------------------------

Three things are certain:

Death, taxes, and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

------------------------

You step in the stream,

But the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

------------------------

Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

------------------------

Having been erased,

The document you're seeking

Must now be retyped.

------------------------

Serious error.

All shortcuts have disappeared.

Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

------------------------